Florida is a Little Bitch

HEY Y’ALL – congrats on stumbling upon our first guest post.
This “guest” is basically co-creator of Sassy Gal and inspires at least 60% of my sassy thoughts. We’ll call her AG.

Enjoyyy – SG


This one’s for the girls. *cue Martina McBride*

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Girlie pops,

Have you ever been on an absolutely terrible date? Same.

Have you ever been on an absolutely terrible date that lasted for 3 days? Please say no because I truly hope that I’m the only one.

So recently, I went to visit this guy who lives in Orlando. In hopes to not freak my family out, I said he was a college friend (lie). Actually, I met this homie at a wedding a year ago and we’ve been talking off and on ever since. So in other words, I basically went to visit a stranger who luckily didn’t turn out to be a serial killer.

I get to the airport late Friday night. He kissed me in the car. It was cute. The story gets worse.

Saturday. Our first actual day together. I’m nervous and shy but all kinds of excited because he says that we’re going to Disney World.

Disney, as in the happiest place on earth. The place with magic and sunshine where all dreams come true and every girl gets to be a princess.

Except not. This dude basically drug me around the park to all his favorite rides (he did buy fast passes though, bonus points), and was over it in about three hours. No parades, no cute mickey ears, no pics with Cinderella, no fireworks.

I repeat.

No. Fireworks.

What kind of human doesn’t want to watch Disney World fireworks with a cute girl??? Geez.

Y’all. I was stuck with that kind of human for TWO MORE DAYS.

He didn’t ask me about my family, he didn’t ask me about my goals or my dreams or my ambitions. Quite the opposite, he made me feel like I was invading his space – like I was cramping his style. He also *mansplained* me about a bajillion times which was equally as offensive as it was annoying.

Let me tell you, I have never felt like a more boring person in my whole life. I like to think that I’m a fun, intelligent, (usually) cool individual who has a good time with mostly everyone. But this dude made me feel like the exact opposite of all these things. And I kept blaming myself for it.

Don’t we all blame ourselves sometimes? (Please say yes.)

There’s no sparks flying on a random date and you assume that you’re the uninteresting one.

Girlfriend, maybe he’s just a self-absorbed jerk who doesn’t really care to get to know you and make you feel special. Or maybe y’all just don’t have all that much in common and it would never work out anyways. Or maybe it’s both.

Regardless of the circumstances, he’s not the one.

If there aren’t any fireworks, literally or figuratively, don’t you dare waste your time.

Stay sassy, xo

– AG


* mansplaining-  The act of being a man and explaining something something very basic to a woman who 100% does not need explanation

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